Where have I been?

Hi everyone..

I'm just kidding.. I know that there's only one person that's actually read any of my stuff and although I would like that to change eventually, I'm pretty happy with her/you.

I have been away from this blog for around 2 months.. That's a pretty decent length of time to just forget about something like this because I did put a few hours into my few posts and I definitely read a few other peoples posts as well.

I'd like to start by saying something about myself.

I'm not really the sort of person that brags about myself, I think I almost am, but I have a brother and a Dad that are those sorts of people and they've caused me to consciously quell most self absorbed outbursts that I feel coming on.

I hope you don't mind, but in this happy place which is my little bubble of the internet I'm going to throw that out the proverbial window... (Funnily I'm on a mac so I'm actually window free, get it :D)

So here goes.. I warn you that this post is going to jump around a fair bit.


I think I'm a pretty awesome person.

Nope, that's a lie.

I actually just think I should be a pretty awesome person.

I have a long list of things about me that should mean that I am an awesome person, yet I remain remarkably un-awesome.

Over the past month I've been flown interstate and actually paid at the same time for an inter-branch competition organised by my work.. I've fought at state level in a Taekwondo competition, I've continued to train for an ice hockey comp which I'll hopefully be starting in next month, I've continued to play in a social inline hockey comp weekly, I've surfed, played guitar in a bit of a band with a friend of mine from Taekwondo, I've worked on my 2 day's off from uni per week (getting up at 5:30AM on Monday mornings (not fun)), I've payed rego for my car and I've looked after myself and my brother because (as I live at home) my parents are overseas...

I didn't lose a fight at my comp but had to pull out because I hurt my feet so badly kicking people that I couldn't walk properly for a week, I may have broken my wrist but never got an X-Ray and still can't block properly, I still can't kick properly at training which I do at least 3 times a week and Nationals is only 6 weeks away.

I've spent around 10 hours per week driving between activities.

I'm also starting to worry about all the uni work I have to do but luckily for me I worked myself out of my extra 2 days a week of work as of this week. So I'll have time to do it now, but I'll be poor.

That was a very cluttered and hard to understand little mini-rant and I apologise for making you read it.

In other news that girl that I mentioned liking waaaay back in blog number 1 dumped her boyfriend, I have stayed away from her. But my brothers girlfriend happens to go to school with said liked girl and keeps bringing her up just to torment me a little more..

I added the other cute girl from uni on facebook(-Argh I mean 'HeadTome') and waited for a month only to find that she had ignored my friend request.. I have since not even seen her at uni.

And I got so desperate for some action that I actually spent money signing up to an online swingers site, which has turned out to be a waste of my limited funds since there are about 500 guy's on it for every 1 hot girl and that ='s bad odds...

I'm starting to feel glad that no-one reads this..

So where am I now? Well I'm up too late when I should be going to sleep because I have uni at 9:30 tomorrow morning.

Back to my original point. I should be an awesome person.. I'm pretty fit, not hard on the eyes, a certified athlete, smart, funny, easy to get along with and I even seem laid back... But I'm not awesome. For some reason all I feel like is someone who's following a recipe for some amazing dessert to the letter but still end up with overcooked crusty banana cake. Yep, that's my analogy for my life. Crusty banana cake.

I think I should point out right now that being single is my cause for my apparent dysthymia right now...

I am stuck in a rut because if I don't get happy I seem less attractive but the only way for me to feel happy with how things are going would be for me to be more attractive to start with..

Ok.. So if you were in a good mood before reading this I apologise for being a bit of a downer on your day. I actually feel a bit better now that I've written all this here if it's any consolation. But thinking about how badly written it is is definitely working against my happy.

I don't really know what I meant to accomplish by putting this up tonight/this morning.. But rest assured I'll probably be back all too soon to write something that does make sense..

Maybe.